When the going gets tough...

We knew it would be hard, but how can it be THIS hard?
We knew we would wait, but we didn't know how heartbreaking the wait would be...

When hands are pried open…

If you missed Part 1 be sure to get caught up!


We thought our hands were open and willing to receive anything God had for us when we started down this path.  After all, with Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) there are no guarantees when it comes to race or age or gender or sibling group size.  That was all fine with us, we were ready to rejoice and toil in God's perfect plan for our family.  But then we started to see a story unfold and our hands began to wrap around this one ideal, this one path, this one outcome, this idea that we knew exactly what was coming down the pipe, and our house of cards was stacking up nicely…but, God had a different plan, a better plan.

Why adopt?

The past year and a half have been a beautiful blur…engagement, marriage, honeymoon, moving to a new position at work, starting the process of becoming Foster/Adoptive parents (still ongoing), and purchasing and settling into (and fixing up) our new (to us) home has been amazing, crazy, and (sometimes) exhausting!  I am so thankful for the story God continues to write with me and that he saw fit to bring my story together with my husband's.  I remember when a friend of mine got married several years ago and she profoundly said that she saw their marriage as taking her ministry and his ministry and joining it to be better together than it could ever have been apart.  It took me this full 1.5 years of excitement and emotion to clearly see what our marriage ministry is…adoption! 

Confession for all and all for confession...

Jonathan Edwards' Resolution Number 8:
Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in my self, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.


At first pass this particular resolution reminds me of two biblical figures, Paul and Daniel...

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Jonathan Edwards' Resolution Number 7:
"Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life."


There are decisions we make all throughout our day...choices to get out of bed, what to eat/drink, what to wear, how we will make it to our next destination, how we will respond to people's actions and words...the list goes on infinitely.  But are we fully aware of these as choices or do we treat them as habits, life necessities that are not given much consideration?  What choices really matter?  If this was the last hour of my life would I take what I eat for lunch more or less seriously...

Live free...

Jonathan Edwards' Resolution #6:
Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.


I have been asked before which one of Edwards' resolutions is my favorite and this one typically comes to mind.  I mean, come on!  "Live with all my might!"  Doesn't it just make you want to flex your muscles and get out there and DO something?!?! 

Good to the last drop...

Jonathan Edwards' Resolution Number 5:
Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

Preparing for a wedding has been, at times, overwhelmingly busy!  I keep asking people to pray for me to really enjoy this season...with only a 4 month engagement I knew it would fly past us and I would be tempted to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of planning, losing sweet moments with the man of my dreams. 

Just keeps slip slip slippin' away...

Well time has gotten away from me (again!) and the aim to be more intentional with my postings has obviously fallen to the wayside...

Let's jump back in though!  If you missed it I wrote a while back that one of my resolutions this year was to read and explain my interpretations of Johnathan Edwards "Resolutions."  We covered #1 so let's see if we can get a few more knocked out...

2. "Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the forementioned things."

Auld Lang Syne, Resolutions and all that...

Right, so I know it is almost the last day of January so forgive me for posting about New Years resolutions so late into the start of the year...think of it as grace if you haven't started yours yet!!!

2016 will be a big year for me, not only do I turn 30 but my family has a number of BIG -0 birthdays (20, 60, and 70) this year!!!!  So much has already happened since January 1st and most of my resolutions are either under way or planned, the only thing left was restarting my blogging with a little more intentionality.  This year I have a plan to read and blog on every resolution of Jonathan Edwards.  There are 70 so I am going to have to make my posts be of a more rapid secession!  So let's get started...

"1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether no, or never so many myriads of ages hence.  Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty, and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general.  Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever."

Straight from a fire hose...

Well I didn't achieve the goal of processing every week of my time in "Essentials Training" here...but in order to make sure I learned something I went through and made notes on each week to summarize in 2 or 3 points what I processed each week.  Bear with me...this, along with finishing at a missions conference, was like drinking from a fire hose for 11 weeks!

Week 1: Love is all you need...

Great, you're sorry...now apologize

Another amazingly insightful saying I heard from my father all too often growing up.  It usually followed a half-hearted "I'm sorry" after one of us got caught breaking a house rule.  The point was we can use the word "sorry" all we want but if there is no conviction behind the word we will not change our behavior, there is not a genuineness to the apology!

Conviction is key to change.  Conviction shows that there is something being learned and altered within us.

The Progress is Toward Deep Conviction...

The only certainties in life are death and taxes...

...and suffering!

Our question in the Essentials class this week was " What does God do about suffering?"

As a reminder, last week we talked about how sin brought death, death ignites fear, and fear motivates us to sin...a vicious cycle that only God's prefect love can drive out in order to free us to live a life unbounded by the demands of this world and empower us to live out His commands.

But how can we reconcile His perfect love with the guaranteed suffering in this world?

Scared (un)to Death...

As I stated in my last post I am on an 11 week journey of seeking answers to the Essential Questions for Responsible Christian Growth.  Week 2 of our study has been titled "The Problem is Life to Death" and we dove into the implications of sin and why life is so hard.

Act 1: The curtain is drawn back, in a garden we are introduced to God, a man, and a woman.
Life is not a daily grind, it is full of joy and purpose and good communion.   

Act 2: Enter a snake...(Why does it always have to be snakes?)

What's Love Got To Do With It...?

I started a new small group bible study this week hosted by one of our Mission's department ministers.  The idea, from what I gather, is to evaluate 10 essential questions for our growth in the Christian faith.  The class was outlined to be a place to mature since it has been observed so often that there are "plateaued" faiths in the walls of our churches, that they have become a place to silently receive teaching without producing significant changes in how we live or pray or interact with the world around us.  Sanctification, learning about God and what He has planned for us, how he loves us and how we are to love others are life long processes, journeys that are not complete until we are with Him for eternity.  

And so we come to lesson 1: "Love God and people"...really?

Boundary Lines...

"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; I have a goodly heritage" ~Psalm 16:5-6

I learned a little something about boundaries last week.  I recently adopted a dog and overall he is a GOOD dog.  He is house trained, he listens to the word "No," and he is just generally not a loud dog (which I appreciate a LOT early in the morning).  However, I had to be reminded the hard way that he is still a puppy, still only a year old, and still has a lot to learn and mature into.

I thought I would do him a favor and leave him on the patio while I was at work, you know give him some room to stretch his legs so he wouldn't be stuck in a small kennel all day long.  I wanted to give him freedom, I wanted to let him have more space, extend the boundary lines if you will.  Then the storms rolled in…

This wasn't the timeline I had planned...

"The heart of a man plans his ways..." - Proverbs 16:9a

And boy did I...plan my ways I mean.  I had it all figured out.  I would graduate, get a job, work a little while, meet my husband, be married at 25, buy a house, get a dog, and start having babies at 30.  Nothing wrong or sinful in those plans, but here's the rub, they weren't God's plan for me.  After graduation everything seemed to be "on track," then all of a sudden things seemed to going out of [my] order.

Before you speak...

I was invited again to post on the Radiant blog and I am so excited to share what I have been learning about the power of the tongue.  BUT, before I begin I want to explain a bit about Radiant...

Forgiveness is not Forgetting...

Too often I have listened to a lesson on forgiveness and have felt the weight of guilt and condemnation (forgiveness-guilt if you will). Lies from the enemy creep in and whisper "you're not over it...what they did still stings so you couldn't have forgiven them...you aren't friends with them any more so how can you think you forgave them..."

A brief retelling...[Part 2]

A brief retelling...[Part 1]
...At the end of 2012 year my entire world shifted. Within 2 weeks I closed on a house, began remodeling, started a new job, my mom had a heart attack, and along with personal heartbreak/a friendship ending I felt completely hopeless; thus began my journey through depression.

My favorite girls!
This was taken toward the end of my season of depression
and these women loved me so well through it!

A brief retelling... [Part 1]

I thought I would take some time to help you get to know me some more, here is my (brief) testimony. 
"It's not my story, it's God's story.  I just get to be a part of it..."

My life started out as a pretty typical "Church Kid."


Walking home from Church on a typical Sunday