Before you speak...

I was invited again to post on the Radiant blog and I am so excited to share what I have been learning about the power of the tongue.  BUT, before I begin I want to explain a bit about Radiant...

Forgiveness is not Forgetting...

Too often I have listened to a lesson on forgiveness and have felt the weight of guilt and condemnation (forgiveness-guilt if you will). Lies from the enemy creep in and whisper "you're not over it...what they did still stings so you couldn't have forgiven them...you aren't friends with them any more so how can you think you forgave them..."

A brief retelling...[Part 2]

A brief retelling...[Part 1]
...At the end of 2012 year my entire world shifted. Within 2 weeks I closed on a house, began remodeling, started a new job, my mom had a heart attack, and along with personal heartbreak/a friendship ending I felt completely hopeless; thus began my journey through depression.

My favorite girls!
This was taken toward the end of my season of depression
and these women loved me so well through it!

A brief retelling... [Part 1]

I thought I would take some time to help you get to know me some more, here is my (brief) testimony. 
"It's not my story, it's God's story.  I just get to be a part of it..."

My life started out as a pretty typical "Church Kid."


Walking home from Church on a typical Sunday

What's in a name...Part II

(In case you missed it...Part I)

Fast forward to late spring 2012 and I was asked to organize an "I Will Run" team for one of the girls in the As Our Own home. Her name was Sabeena and yes, I had met her. So I passed out fliers at my church and talked to people all over about running to raise money for this sweet girl. Race day was cold and rainy but when I showed up there were about 20 people to run half marathons and relays. We wrote our girl's name all over our arms and legs and put athletic tape on our shirts to bear her sweet name as well. We were pumped...cold but pumped! We met our goal, the funds were raised, pictures were taken, smiles were donned, sneakers were laced, and we hit the pavement.


The Amazing HFBC Summit Team - IWillRun for Sabeena!

But I got ahead of myself...lets go back a little bit to the start of my training. Remember how I said I hated running? That was neither a lie nor an exaggeration, running is hard for me. I ran a little in high school but the longest distance I had to run for a sport was usually 1 mile. When I graduated from college I decided to do a 5K with some friends and I finished in something like 35 minutes (it's ok, you can laugh...my friends laughed), my only excuse is that I didn't train at all in running and most of my physical activity was centered around biking at that point since I had done the MS150 from Houston to Austin. So I started with a basic training plan and some new sneakers. Let me remind you of the time frame we are talking about...late spring/early summer in Houston. Y'all it was HOT! I did most of my training outside around my neighborhood. It was a lovely area to run and easy to put in a few miles here and there. But it got harder and harder to stay motivated, to keep getting out there week after week. My feet hurt, my head hurt, my legs hurt. Let's face it, everything hurt and I wasn't even running 4 miles yet. I only signed up for the relay so I was training for a 10K but still it seemed impossible for my body to ever get to that goal. I asked track coaches I knew for pointers and read endless blogs and articles on running. I looked up equipment and nutrition guidelines. I researched my little fingers to the bone. And here is what I learned...there are so many parallels between physically running and spiritually running...

What's in a name...Part I

Let's gets some definitions out of the way first:

• Phylactery: "either of two small square leather boxes containing slips inscripbed with scriptural passages and traditionally worn on the left arma dn on the head by observant Jewish men and especially adherents of Orthodox Judaism during morning weekday prayers" (Marriam-Webster Dictionary)
  
• Sneakers: a device used to torture your body by forcing your feet to hit the ground at high speeds and rapidly increasing your heart rate to a point you wish you could fall down, curl up in a ball and slowly drift off to a peaceful sleep

To be clear it isn't that I didn't like running, I hated it, with a fiery passion. Strong words yes, but honestly I could not wrap my mind around why people would don sneakers and run (please hear utter disgust and loathing in my voice when you read that word). I couldn't comprehend loving it. It was a chore, it was a literal headache and pain in my side. But, as it turns out, God would use this thing I once hated to change the way I see my life and this world, and would help me to better understand characteristics of walking with Him through it all.

And so it begins...

I'm not a writer and for all intents and purposes I am not a great verbalizer (unless we are good friends then watch out because I'll talk your ear off!). I'm not necessarily the best at expressing my thoughts, some would disagree but in my mind's eye I have a hard time portraying my thoughts. I am often misunderstood or dismissed because I am a thinker, a processor. I take my time and generally do not react (emphasis on generally...I can get angry and have an outburst with the best of them), but instead think through what is going on around me and I usually don't become vocal until I have some meaningful input (read I don't talk just to hear myself talk). Some read this as shy, some read this as rude (or other colorful terms), and some think I hate them because of my lack of involvement in their conversation...usually none of this is true, most of the time I am just thinking or being my extremely awkward self. Praise God for His grace in loving me and sending me friends who either don't see me this way or worked through their initial impression of me and who love me for who I am, awkwardness embraced.

But here we are, the beginning of a blog. A place where I can outwardly process my thoughts and musings. A place where I can share what God has been teaching me through study, quiet time, prayer, and worship. A place to stretch my "teaching" legs...a gift I have been avoiding and denying for years but have learned to embrace (Galatians 2:20). I have so enjoyed the opportunities to teach where they have been given and I look forward to this new platform to share the workings of the Gospel in me, my witness to all Christ has done and is doing in me (along with some lighter topics like cooking and pinteresting finds ;D ). I hope you enjoy what He brings in this, but honestly even if this end up being just me and God I will have no disappointment, I trust He will use this as another growth opportunity. It will be a new place to trust Him, that He will provide words to speak, wisdom, clarity, and discernment. For those are the things I ask (James 1:5).

I promise to be real here.  I AM fearfully and wonderfully made, but I was also bought with a price, a high price I aim to never take for granted.  I hope to never boast in myself and I want to give glory to God in all things, even a blog...